Hilarious Tweets About The Daily Struggles of a Father

These tweets from James Breakwell, who goes by the username @XplodingUnicorn on twitter give us an insight about how parenting feels like with his day to day experiences with his kids. Is he the coolest dad on the internet? Decide for yourself.

7-year-old: How come you and Mom aren't going on a date tonight?

Me: That's how you get more sisters.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 14 February 2018

3-year-old: *hugs me out of nowhere* I love you, Dad.

Me: You can't have any of my candy bar.

3: I love Mom.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 13 February 2018

5-year-old: I can't find my book. It's lost forever.

Me: It's right there.

5: I knew I'd find it.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 17 February 2018

5-year-old: Thank you for buying cheesecake.

Me: It's just regular cake.

5: Thank you for going back to the store to buy cheesecake.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 16 February 2018

5-year-old: I'm wearing my special socks.

Me: What makes them special?

5: I'm wearing them.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 16 February 2018

Me: Keep your hands to yourself.

5-year-old: I have to. They're attached to me.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 15 February 2018

3-year-old: *standing on the couch* It's my boat.

Me: Let me come aboard.

3: No whales allowed.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 13 February 2018

7-year-old: The Olympics are still on?!

Me: They last for days.

7: I thought athletes were fast.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 12 February 2018

Me: Don't do that.

3-year-old: You're not my mom.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 11 February 2018

3-year-old: *pretends to mop the floor*

Me: What happens if I walk on it?

3: I'll mop your head off.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) 11 February 2018