THESE SARCASTIC ONE LINERS WILL GIVE COMEDY SCRIPT WRITERS A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY! (PART 24)

• A package sent by car is a shipment, but a package sent by ship is cargo.

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• February 22nd of 2022 will fall on a Tuesday and henceforth should be forever known as “Two’s-Day”.

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• Now that I'm an adult, I don't get bored anymore. Just depressed.

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• The fact that there’s a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.

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• If you go to jail for not paying taxes, you are serving a punishment for not paying taxes by not paying taxes.

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• If you wear a shirt inside-out, the whole universe is wearing the shirt except you.

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• A birth certificate is basically a baby receipt.

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• If the internet just stopped working forever one day, the T-Rex game on Google Chrome would be the biggest thing ever.

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• I once thought I had a Japanese friend.

         But it was just my imagine Asian

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• My girlfriend is a huge Harry Potter fan. She always wears an invisibility cloak.

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via @SarcasmMother