THESE SARCASTIC ONE LINERS WILL GIVE COMEDY SCRIPT WRITERS A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY! (PART 9)

• I used to think that people who fight over religions are dumb. Then I saw people fighting over marvel and dc.

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• I hope when I die, that it’s early in the morning so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

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• 8th grade is last place you make genuine friends. After that everyone is a business partner.

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• If a bicycle is called a bike. And a tricycle a trike. Shouldn't a motorcycle be called a mike?

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• Mirrors don’t really break, they just multiply.

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• Kids wanna be teenagers, adults wanna be teenagers again. Everybody wants to be a teenager, except teenagers.

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• It’s always April fools when your whole life is a joke.

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• Asking another person out solely because they are attractive is like applying for a job just because the building looks cool.

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• Samsung: you need 4 jacks for all your friends. Apple: lets face reality... you dont have friends.

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• Good porn is hard to finish because it's easy to finish.

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via @SarcasmMother

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