THESE SARCASTIC ONE LINERS WILL GIVE COMEDY SCRIPT WRITERS A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY! (PART 12)

• Stop bullying fat people, it isn't funny! They have enough on their plate anyway.

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• Hitler was a bad guy because he killed the guy who killed Hitler.

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• Aren’t we all currently just experiencing our life flash before our eyes before we die?

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• Money can't buy happiness but... neither can not having money so really it's better to just have money.

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• Technically, all of the money you have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

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• If Russia became the Soviet Union again it would be the Soviet Reunion.

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• Children in the backseat can cause accidents. Accidents in the backseat can cause children.

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• The first person to hear a parrot talk probably was not okay for a few days.

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• Every single person you've ever loved will either go to your funeral or you will go to theirs.

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• Taxes are just a monthly subscription to live in a country.

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via @SarcasmMother

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