THESE SARCASTIC ONE LINERS WILL GIVE COMEDY SCRIPT WRITERS A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY! (PART 10)

• Its sad that April 1st is the only day of the year where people actually question validity of the news they read.

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• Elon Musk is only one tragic story away from becoming a super villain.

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• The hospital I was born in is the only building I’ve left but never entered.

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• Every time condom worked, the company lost at least one potential customer.

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• People always want the rarest stuff, unless it's a medical condition.

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• You are only friends with some people because you see them 5 days a week.

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• If everyone was forced to carry around a little puppy everywhere they went there would be way less violence in the world.

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• There are more than 7 billion different versions of today.

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• “The early bird catches the worm”, they told you, but they never told “The early worm gets caught”.

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• If life gives you lemons, freeze them and throw them as hard as possible at the people making your life difficult.

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via @SarcasmMother

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