THESE SARCASTIC ONE LINERS WILL GIVE COMEDY SCRIPT WRITERS A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY! (PART 7)

• Not a single one of the countless people forcibly dragged from their cars in GTA is wearing a seat-belt.

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• Do transformers get car insurance or life insurance?

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• In schools and colleges you get graded on how obedient you are not on how intelligent you are.

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• Building a tree house is the biggest insult to a tree. “Hey, I killed your friend. Here, hold him.”

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• The line between “drugs will destroy your life” and “we’ll destroy your life if we catch you doing drugs” is apparently a really blurry one.

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• The pickup line “did it hurt when you fell from Heaven” is actually informing somebody that you think they may be Satan.

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• You’re the bad guy in someone’s story.

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• “Extra ordinary” is the exact opposite of extraordinary.

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• One day I will stop existing and will never exist again for infinity years but for some reason I’m bored and want to sleep most the time.

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• It’s faster to say “World Wide Web” than it is to say “WWW”.

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via @SarcasmMother

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