THESE SARCASTIC ONE LINERS WILL GIVE COMEDY SCRIPT WRITERS A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY! (PART 14)

• If abortion is murder then condom is kidnapping.

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• Donald Trump's tweets are going to be important historical texts.

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• Every morning millions of people literally race to a place where they don’t want to be.

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• Lemonade has artificial flavor while my dish soap contains real lemon juice.

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• Every photo is HD until it’s a photo of bigfoot, a UFO, the Loch Ness monster.

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• Only in mathematics can a problem have infinite solutions and yet somehow I still end up with a wrong answer.

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• When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding.

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• If Russia is “the Motherland” and Germany is “the Fatherland,” then WW2 was one of the worst divorces in history.

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• If humans go extinct, literally no one will care.

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• Would you be imprisoned for refusing to leave prison?

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via @SarcasmMother

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