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THESE SARCASTIC ONE LINERS WILL GIVE COMEDY SCRIPT WRITERS A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY!

  • With great power comes great difficulty in factorising the polynomial.
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  • I belong to the 1% of the population who haven't watched Game Of Thrones even once, I have watched it twice!
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  • A broken clock is right twice a day, a working clock is wrong almost the entire day.
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  • If basketball was not a sport, Michael Jordan would have just been a normal guy. Maybe I’m amazing at a sport that was never created.
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  • Life is just a really long story about how you died.
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  • Hundreds of years ago being fat was expensive. Today staying fit is expensive.
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  • 15 years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Now, the real world is an escape from the internet.
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  • To find a needle in a haystack, all you have to do is burn the haystack.
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  • Kryptonite is everyone’s weakness if you hit them hard enough with it.
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  • Say no to Drugs. Say yes to drugs. Actually, if you are talking to drugs, it’s already too late.
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via @SarcasmMother

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